MM romance is for everyone. The gays, the girls, and the theys are all welcome. And honestly, if a straight man wants to pick up an MM romance, he absolutely can. Maybe he will even learn something new.

Policing who gets to read or write MM romance is murky and, frankly, unsafe territory. This genre has survived and thrived largely because of the support of women and femme presenting readers and authors. And many of the “cishet women” that people love to generalize about are actually queer and nonbinary. Erasing their identities helps no one.

Uplifting and prioritizing the incredible work of queer male authors does not require tearing down femme presenting ones. Both can coexist. Both should be celebrated.

I understand the frustration from queer men who want to see their stories created by their peers. I truly do. It is why I personally prioritize queer books by queer men as a way to help bridge the gap. At the end of the day, we queer men are the blueprint and the inspiration for MM romance. But I also refuse to limit myself. I will read MM romance from anyone who writes it with care.

Are there female authors who write MM romance purely for profit, without any investment in real queer men or the LGBTQ+ community? Probably. Are there women whose engagement with the genre and with actual queer men is sometimes weird? Sure. Is the MM romance space occasionally hostile toward queer male readers and their perspectives? Also yes. Do queer male authors deserve more recognition and opportunities? Absolutely. And do queer male readers deserve to feel safer in this space? Without question.

I am not even touching the “fetishization of queer men” conversation because it rarely leads to anything productive. It usually just results in shaming femme presenting authors and readers, and that helps no one.

Ultimately, we can all share in the joy and success of this genre. We can push for a more equitable, welcoming, and nuanced space built on kindness, respect, and understanding for everyone who loves MM romance.