The current success of Heated Rivalry has taken social media by storm, and with it has come the familiar cycle of speculation, and sometimes outright demands, around the sexual orientation of newcomers Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie. This is, unfortunately, a very common occurrence whenever a piece of queer media breaks into the mainstream and finds international success. We saw it with Heartstopper, which infamously led to Kit Connor being pressured into coming out as bisexual. So let’s unpack why this keeps happening.

As an out gay man, I understand why queer people feel protective of media that tells queer stories, because at the end of the day, these are our stories. Stories that have historically been pushed aside, silenced, or actively erased by bigotry that still runs rampant in modern society. Queer people continue to be targeted by everyday individuals and by governments, through legislation that aims to strip us of safety, dignity, and visibility. So when a queer show or film finally succeeds, it makes sense that queer audiences reach for a deeper sense of connection, extending that attachment beyond the characters and onto the actors themselves. When that connection is missing, it can feel like an invasion of a queer space or even a betrayal. What often gets overlooked, though, is that many of these projects are created by queer people behind the camera, and that Heated Rivalry itself includes out queer talent, such as François Arnaud, an openly bisexual actor in a key supporting role. At its core, this tension often comes from our collective need for belonging, shaped by pain, trauma, and a long history of being relegated to the margins. For many of us, survival has meant relying on ourselves and on our queer community, so wanting to feel that our stories are being told by our own is deeply human.

But does demanding that a newcomer disclose their sexuality actually achieve anything? No. It is a violation of privacy, full stop, and coming out should always happen on a person’s own terms and timeline. If anything, this pressure distracts from the real issue: the long-standing homophobia within the film and television industry. For decades, openly queer actors have watched straight actors receive praise, prestige, and career-defining accolades for playing queer roles, while queer actors themselves were pushed into stereotypical parts or quietly sidelined. It is no wonder so many actors remain hesitant to come out when history has shown them that honesty can limit opportunity. Yes, there are success stories like Jonathan Bailey, but they are still the exception rather than the rule. And it is also worth acknowledging that Bailey fits a very specific, industry-friendly mold: a conventionally attractive, white, British man. Progress exists, but it is uneven and conditional.

So, does it bother me if a straight actor plays a queer role? Not really. Does it bring me immense joy to see an out queer actor thriving in a lead queer role, or any role at all? Absolutely. What queer person does not feel proud seeing another queer person succeed? The problem has never been straight actors playing queer characters. The problem is an industry that does not allow queer actors to thrive in the same way their straight counterparts do. The takeaway should not be that actors must publicly disclose their sexuality, nor that they should never do so. The goal should be a future where an actor’s choice to be out or private has no bearing on their career at all. A future where actors feel safe, supported, and unafraid to exist authentically, without fear of professional consequences.

While we’re here, maybe we should also redirect some of this energy away from policing actors’ sexualities and toward the lack of diversity in queer media itself. Sapphic stories rarely receive the same level of support or longevity, and when it comes to queer men in media, you would think the only stories worth telling are those of white, cis gay men. That conversation deserves just as much urgency, if not more.

And on a much happier note, Heated Rivalry is an amazing show. The performances are fantastic, the direction is strong, and the chemistry absolutely delivers. I am genuinely so glad that shows like this exist and are finding mainstream success. This is exactly the kind of queer media worth celebrating and supporting. So please, go watch it, talk about it, hype it up, and support queer stories whenever you can. And if anyone in television is listening, I am going to need at least fourteen more shows like this immediately. Thank you very much. 😌📺🌈